Growing Around Grief
The Grief & Loss Experience
A wonderful part about being human is that we have the ability to love and to be loved. However, there will be times that this capacity brings pain, as we will inevitably experience grief and loss throughout our life. This is the price we pay for love. It is a universal, but unique experience.
We typically avoid thinking about the possibility of loss, and if we do experience loss, we find ways to avoid the pain. What we do know about grief and loss is that it hurts and affects everyone differently. There are no rules.
Sometimes feelings of grief and loss can become complicated. This means that it begins to interfere significantly with everyday functioning and we believe that we will feel this way forever. Complicated grief can occur if there are:
? ‘complicating factors’ surrounding the death or loss,
? relationship difficulties that confuse the way you feel about the other person, or
? other co-occurring factors.
In these situations, it might be helpful to seek professional support to help your grief subside.
3 Tips To Help ‘Grow Around The Grief’
Understand that there are no rules, it is individual to you.
Everyone’s way of processing and moving through grief is their own. Grief is unique and it is important for individuals to experience it in the way that feels right for them. There is no one set of rules that dictates what that journey should or will look like. It is common for people to believe they should be ‘grieving in a particular way’, or that they ‘aren’t doing it right’, or that ‘there is something wrong with them’.
The goal is not to end the grief but to learn how to grow around it.
It is common (and understandable) for many people to expect that their grief will be completely gone one day. Unfortunately, this is unlikely. Grief is a normal process resulting from a loss. We can not change that. Nor can we take away the memories or what that person (or animal, etc) meant. That is not the goal. The goal is to grow around the grief so that it becomes an integrated part of their life journey, but is no longer causing significant distress on their daily life and functioning.
Accept that the feelings of loss and grief are inescapable if we want to live a full and meaningful life that includes loving other people.
As humans, we have a tendency to avoid pain. However in doing so, we can miss out on so much of what life is about – the good and the bad experiences. Pain is normal and can teach us a lot about ourselves and others, in particular, how much we love and can be loved.
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About The Author
Shea is interested in assisting people of all ages with difficulties that life can sometimes present. She is committed to providing an environment where respect and collaboration are valued.